
Winter Checklist
Kim Serafin
1. New Coat: Loathe wearing it and leave in the closet as long as possible.
Continue to wear fall jacket instead.
2. Scarf: Either too short or too long but still perfect for wearing. Indoors.
3. Lip Balm: Eggsnog from Lush from last year. A little melty from its home in
pocket. Need new one?
4. Boots: More fashionable = more falls.
5. Hand Lotion: Fragranced and therefore containing skin-drying alcohol. Worth
it.
6. Marshmallows: Tasty alone, disintegrate in hot chocolate—a double whammy.
7. Turtleneck Sweater: Keeps cold air out, keeps sexy neck bruises hidden from
Grandma.
8. Gloves/Mittens: Do not wear unless absolutely necessary—gotta keep hands free
for cigarette purposes, you know.
9. Shovel: So as to look prepared for snow—stay in bed until snow blower breaks
or job is finished.
10. Sparkly Eyeshadow: Takes attention away from dry skin elsewhere.
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"Winter" Eliot
Guinan
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Winter Makes Me Think of
Sixth Grade egw